Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Happy Birthday, Soul Sister!

Wishing you always the best of everything on your birthday. May sunshine in Bali always brighten your path, may every event turn out just the way you wish for. 

I'd like to thank you for the laughter, stupid jokes, all good fun (or not) times, for always caring and being there for me and soon for my son, he he he.
And as you celebrate the next year of your life, I hope that you end up falling in love and in a relationship with someone; who reminds us not to be so blinded by perfection, to look at the other side of the coin, who never lets you lose who you are, who thinks that hurting you also hurts him, and most importantly, who doesn't mind hurting other people's feelings when it comes to you.


I love you, attaching our picture not from 16 years ago, but -God knows how many years ago- lol. And I still don't understand what we are actually doing???


This!

 I can't say a lot, but this:


And for every single time you put other feelings before me, you think it didn't hurt me nor you, it bleeds myself to the bits. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

But Please---

 I posted this picture 5 years ago, 22 months after you passed away:


I know, I know it's 6 years 10 months today and I'm still grieving. I am sorry but I miss you that much that I always cry when I remember you, Lars. Not that I am upset that you are not here anymore, not that I want you to come back alive for me. I miss being myself without you trying to change me at all. I'm not perfect, nobody is, but at least you let me by myself that I could be messy, stubborn AF, happy and weird without any reasons, moody, or shitty and you never judge me for any second. I don't have a fake image to maintain, if I am so shitty there must be something. Life always as simple as "there's no smoke if there's no fire" and I could be shitty anytime; in the morning, afternoon, whenever someone upsets me; before or after coffee, I could be upset anytime when there is a cause and you never stop me, you never standing on their side for any once as you know you don't have to stand on my side either, but at least you don't say a thing, you don't stop me or you will assume that I am insecure people attacking me by being impolite. 

I bet you and Lee love heaven that much as people could be so shitty here. It cost ZERO energy to be polite, it cost ZERO energy to asking permission if anyone would love to take a picture of our belongings instead of sneaking around lesser than 1 freaking meter to just asking "Excuse me, your dogs are beautiful, do you mind if I take a picture of them?" IT COST NOTHING TO BE A POLITE HUMAN, FOR FUCK SAKE. 

And it cost nothing to don't say a thing instead of hurting your loved ones by standing on the wrong side which you and Lee never did. God, I miss you guys so much that words and tears couldn't describe, but I know you guys will be around in the shape of my son :') 

Thank you, for making me realize that there's no coincidence in this life.

P. S. You know what.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Two Shall Become One

My heart goes to those who have their wedding canceled this year due to Covid-19. And to my best friend, Daya, who will make his vow to his beloved wife on my birthday, congratulations! I am extremely grateful and happy for you both, and sad at the same time that I couldn't be there on your happiest day.

Speaking about the wedding, anything that you wish on your wedding day? Anything in mind about how you wish to get married; the person, the decoration, the bible quotes?


I have mine:

Cheesy handwriting and inserting a Cross:


The coffee cup:


In one old church, on bended knee:


Looking at my partner see me crying because he loves me that much:


And the bible quotes:


Wedding decoration to be advised as we never know where we all will be married.


But the things for sure:

  • Marry who loves you in return,
  • Marry who can say "I love you" to you; not only to his/ her friends, to his/ her staffs, or to even his/ her ex staffs, 
  • Marry who wakes up with a smile knowing you are next to him/ her,
  • Marry who understand that your involvement is not about you and controlling but it is for the entire family members, 
  • Marry who are living the present by not keeping tons of his/ her ex pictures and have wishful thinking to still be with that person,
  • Marry the one who's not only able to protect his/ her phone but also protect your heart,
  • Marry the one who speaks up and stands up for yourself not only him/ herself,
  • Marry the hard worker who knows what professional boundaries are,
  • Marry the one who has nothing but a grateful heart of having you in his/ her side through thicks and thins and never gives up about you both.

My Lee was once sending me this :')


Breathe Easy

Lee, I could hear this song nonstop and trying not to cry :') 
I hope you like heaven as Lars does. You guys still need to look after me and mini-me soon.

I love you.


Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine
Why did I lie?
Why did I walk away to find
Oh why
Oh why
I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside
I won't forget, no, I won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find
Oh why
Oh, why, why

I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy (breathe easy)
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me…

Lyric Source: Google

Lost Without Chew

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Lee!

My God, my fingers are shaking and I couldn't hold my tears. I didn't forget your birthday, I know I should write this on the day of 31 July but hey, saying "Happy Birthday in Heaven" for twice in a row is aching my heart.
I miss you, I miss waking up next to you knowing how happy you are to have me in your life. I miss that wide smile even though your eyes still closed. I miss being loved by you, I miss your non-stop flirting like there's no tomorrow, I miss your stubbornness thinking that you are the one who won the lottery when you got me, I miss your British jokes, I miss your dodgy geordie accent, I miss everything about you, I miss seeing the best of me inside your eyes, Lee. 

Happy Birthday, there's so much to tell, but knowing you're not here anymore is just nonsense for me. As my message for almost every morning after you left, "you gotta get up for me, Lee." 

My hand-scratch on 7 October 2019:


Just because he loves Chewbacca as I do :')


Friday, July 24, 2020

The Pain

There is no relationship that can be fixed if two people not falling in love with each other. Maybe you fix it by love yourself first so you can love someone who loves you in return. 
We are all afraid, don't we? We are all nervous, we are all pickier especially what we do is nothing than protecting our heart so it's not broken again in the future. 
But hey, everybody deserved to love and be loved. 

pict source: Instagram

Or if you can't love someone who loves you in return, at least don't hurt her. Don't hurt him. Because you might end up hurting yourself, too. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

The Muffled Sobs

Do you have someone or place you wish to run into when you are sad, like extremely sad? I have three in my life:

Christie, 
  Christie and I are more than a best friend you could've to imagine. If I can't cry immediately to her, I will listen to Ellie Goulding - Army so then I know she is not that far. I wrote about The Charm of Ellie Goulding last year, but I will quote what Ellie say to her best friend when she made this song, enough to describe my feeling to Christie, too:
"From Ellie: I realized that I had focused a lot of writing on past relationships and it hit me I had never written about my best friend. The person I met in college over ten years ago. The person who was at my very first gig. The person who has seen me at my lowest and the first person I call in muffled sobs when something bad happens. We've been deliriously happy together, deliriously tired, and deliriously sad together. I wanted to show our friendship for what it really is- honest, real, electric. I think about the times we drink together until neither of us can stand. The laughing at our own ridiculousness and foolishness. Comparing our trials and errors; overthinking our break ups and new loves, remembering everything we've been through to get to this point, and being so proud of it. Two girls from Hereford trying our best in the City. We open our hearts up and take risks, but together we are more powerful than ever. We are challenged every day but we see it through and sometimes it feels like we can conquer anything. When I'm with you, I'm standing with an army."

My father,
    Just like what I did last night. I called him and not saying anything until he asks "Adek menangis ya?" (Adek, are you crying?) I said no, I am just feeling unwell. But I know he knows I am sobbing. But it's just enough, enough to let him know that his little girl crying. And I feel so much peace from that. 

My Catholic Church. 
    I sneak out to the church and down on my knees, crying. Not say a thing. And I feel so relieved. Or if Sr. Nena still around, I will visit her as well, crying but say nothing. 


How about you? Do you have someone or place you wish to run to when you are in tears?

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

See Ya Never, Public House!

There are some days we can't really see the best part of people or in things perhaps we are too disappointed. I could say I am extremely happy to finally moving from this house, The Public House. 

I don't really live here until August last year (but I was back and forth to see Gareth and my kids for anywhere I was; money, time, energy are doesn't matter as long as I could see them) that I could feel a bad atmosphere, bad vibes, my emotional feeling burn easily, my mind is unpeaceful most of the time, the bad memories and for sure bad Fengshui. Some friends saying it's too bad to move from here, it is spacious with a beautiful garden, decent pool, and spacious house. 

I gave them my usual flat face or sarcasm laugh that they will recognize how I love the house - NOT. 

It's a Public House; even an idiot creating it in Google Maps: "Gareth's Place", everybody have keys, everybody has access, everybody has a privilege to not having a manner (not even a basic manner to respect the owner of the house: Gareth, 2016 - 2020). During my presence in that house, there are too many things that upsetting me. Upsetting me more because as usual, it is bleed my heart for every time people taking Gareth's kindness for granted and for every time Gareth decides to just let them do it. Don't ask me, ask Gareth.

I lost some money that I couldn't tell who take it, because again, everybody has their key. Even the last time the builder leaves the key outside the door, what an idiot. 

House Maid who never really doing her job, she cleans the house while eating oily food and listen to the music in her ears and surely spray the TV with window cleaner, well done!

Pool Cleaner letting a stranger in without my permission, I caught them talking and laughing they didn't know I came from upstairs I asked who are you and why you let him in? They'd be like he's checking Biznet while that time not TV nor our internet are broken. And as we know, even after lots of complain, Biznet guy never come easily! So fuck off you two. He also making trouble with Roxy and the Snuggle Bug that I don't know why my kids didn't like him at all suddenly. He took my keys without permission and returning it without saying a word, too, after around 10 days, oh don't forget he wants to borrow some money as well. However, it's just hard to talk with this guy, it's like a big hole in his brain that whatever we say he didn't get it. It's tiring, really. 

Dog Walker, this is hilarious. He comes anytime he wants without any proper schedule that he has to follow. Even funnier when Gareth not happy with it, instead of complaint directly to him, he talks in his back to me and still hahaha hehehe to him. He thinks he owns the house, he borrows money as well for sure, he let someone in to take the mattress without saying anything even though they see me standing in front of them, didn't flush the toilet God knows how many times, throw cigarette butts wherever he wants, not washing the glass he uses, never throw the trashes he has, never ring a bell when he comes or hello and there is time he came into our room when I am half-naked as well, yep, he opens the fucking door without knocking it. 

The Useless Manager, this is a total clown or circus player, you name it. She always thinks she is the best staff and best friend of Gareth that she didn't even have F & B Skills to work for. She got the key for sure, she is the one who gives Gareth reference how we got the Snuggle Bug from and always claim that she is the Goddamn Mom of my Snuggle Bug. Delusional. Disgusting. Disrespect. She stays in the house quite often especially when I am not around with lots of excuses, broken leg, look after the kids, hosting her friends, etc. She brings her friends (other circus players) who will take the whole video and picture of our kids in the entire area of the house with the exact address where we living and posting it in Social Media. She sleeps in our bed, sending so many selfie pictures, they leave many personal belongings such as tampon and toiletries. Let me repeat: Delusional. Disgusting. Disrespect. Her friends who not knowing to look after the dogs will drag my boy in the staircase, carry them for the sake of the pictures, and so on and so on. They also have late-night karaoke with loudspeaker volume up till 2:30 AM with the situation our kids still awake. One of her friends for sure who have no pride as a woman visits a few time, she knows Gareth not available but then who cares; she wants a white guy, free food, free drinks, free prints, money to ladder her and family in her village perhaps. It's like give me a break, if you are a hostess then work your ass off will you? Instead of being proud "intermezzo" and then claim that the guy is cheating and uses you. Hold on, why are you here in the first place, clearly your amateur slutty skills need improvement. So definitely, this Useless Manager and her friends are having the same no manners habit in their life. Ew. But don't worry, we take care of this shit already.

Some of Gareth friends; not everybody is assholes, some of them are beautiful people I can hang out with and have no problem at all at home, they respect Gareth as the owner, they been very clean and tidy and look after the house for sure. But, we also found some of them didn't care, they stay and being dirty, leave broken condom in the drawer even Ice Cream stick, they smoke inside the house, they leave their belonging as well, they speak without attitude, one of them brought two different hookers in only four days during pandemic (and I have to sit next to them, ew!) and yes this is where I met the trashy Dutch who have a plan to steal Roxy when I am away and this is the place where the trashy American playing hero to Gareth and acts like he knows me, knows Gareth and our story 2000% while he knows NOTHING and guess what, even though we have our friends who actually know me, Gareth or us more than he does, NO ONE, NOT ONE SINGLE SOUL decides to cross the lines as he did. But don't worry again, we take care of another shit like this. 

Honestly, I am so grateful that my people are positive people who always positively supporting me or us and see the best in us most of the time and know what boundaries are. Life could be this simple you know: mind your own business, I mind mine, we mind ours. Anyway.

And last but not least, the lady who last year claims that she owns the items of furniture of the house. Here are the things, Gareth bought all of them already from her ex-partner (who deals with Gareth since 2016 and he is the tenant of that Public House), and suddenly last year she visits the house when I am not around, and ask Gareth if she can take them back for free. From only 1 bed base 200 x 200, it ends up to 1 bed base 200 x 200, 1 bed base 160 x 200, 2 wardrobes, 3 desk shelves, 1 aircon, 1 dining table with 4 chairs with all the cushions. 

OH, she also asking more aircon and sofa that Gareth that not even buy from her ex-partner. Unfuckingbeliavable. In this pandemic, while everybody is tight with finance she asks for free and Gareth gives them all to her (except our 2 aircon and sofa), what extortion!

Apart from that, we also have lots of strangers comes to the house without making an appointment, or pretend that they are coming to wrong address, the loud noise hostel in front of the house and loud noise banging from the cargo company next door, the drunken people who are too loud and throw the trash in our parking area, etc, etc. I mean, enough is enough, right?

You guys must think we are not doing anything. Nah, not really, we had ugly days facing these people and facing these days but I always believe in Karma. It is a territory of the Universe that no one can against that. Karma is always on time, they never late, they never too early as well. And I hope we are all can learn that it is okay not to forgive people and create boundaries instead. It is okay to not have a great image of a nice person as long as we could stand up and speak up for ourself, it is okay to just be humble of what we could afford instead of faking around with our snobbiness to impress people, and hey, it is okay to live in a tiny house but it is a homie place and it is a homie feeling :')


Thank you Public House, as Gareth said, it was once our safest place to be with roof, bed, and food on the table. 

And thank you Gareth, for not only providing a house but putting extra effort to create a homie feeling with loots of blessing in our new place without repeating the bad experience from the past.

- We don't look back in anger - 




                                                         Goodbye, I will see you NEVER!


Thursday, June 18, 2020

41 White Roses

Happy Birthday In Heaven, Lars Sayang!
You'll be 41YO today if you still around and I will see some white hairs (if you grow your hair, lol). I'll be laughing all day about you getting old and you will use it as an excuse to ask me to scratch your back very long before you sleep and I'll do it anyway even though I'm sleepy. 
I love you; there is so much story to tell, but don't worry, it will be not much more than my love for you. I hope you enjoy your day in heaven with Lee, it marked 7 months after he left, you guys could have a drink or two for me, okay?
Okay.


P.S. You Know What :')

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

The Gift and the Karma

I dream of this tree two weeks ago. The tree in front of the house that we live in. Then I wrote a caption "There are no words of a coincidence under this horizon." -GF


It's been tough weeks, not only for us but for everybody. Gareth had dengue two weeks ago. We had medical on call for three days in a row before we decide to be taken care of in the hospital. I was home and not any days that I don't have to do anything else other than to look after him, the house and the kids. It will be a different story if I'm in Jakarta or still work for a hotel. 
Covid-19 Pandemic is around the world, we can't avoid that. Lots of people lose their job, lose hope, even lose their loved ones; dead or alive. Some of them who are trapped in a house with their partner are realized they are not meant to be that they decide to wish everything well between two of them in the future and move on. Some are trying to get used to both existences that rarely happened in the past. Some are moving to the next level and have a stronger faith that everything will be alright. 
But then this is not only about relationship, it is health and economy. I could say nothing's change in this situation, I'm quite comfortable with just having my daily life, but being home with the kids is new, it's a mega bonus that I was dreaming of this since long time ago. We are comfortable, there is food in the table, bills are managed that we don't have to seek help from strangers or friends. When we can do good, we do good. When we can help, we do help. And there are worse days that I need to deal with people who fake the conversation before asking for a favor, and I still help them anyway. 
Some will see this pandemic as a gift, some will see this as karma. We all believe that what goes around comes around. We just don't realize, perhaps in the past, we talk too much to impress people or to hide our lack of confidence, perhaps in the past we stand so big that others are small, perhaps in the past, we talk too loud that we can't listen others speaking, perhaps in the past, we are too cocky, too confident that our business is better than others, perhaps in the past we are too busy to impress people that we forget to impress our own life, perhaps in the past, we think we are the riches, the handsomeness, the most ideal and the perfect ones that we forget not everyone is beautiful and nothing or no one in this world is perfect, perhaps in the past, we ignore people who love us and hurt them that we're too busy with people who don't. Perhaps this is the right moment to apologize to yourself, to the people you hurt as they might be the ones who always on your side no matter what, and see the good things in every bad thing happened.
Pict Source: Google

Do you take this moment to reflect on yourself? I do and I hope you do, too. And for me, this is the gift. Whatever the universe brings to me, it is always a gift, and the universe trust not only who speaks nice, it is trusting more the people with a good heart and doing good karma for their life.

Pict Source: Haroon Rashid

Monday, June 1, 2020

Holding the Boundaries

It is never my job to be everything to everyone. But some people are still too delusional that they think it's disrespectful when I don't forgive and let the shit go, and allow them to continue to disrespect me. And it's never the first time for me to listen to "let it go, Risy, we met people who say something we don't like but we need to accept that." Not for me, I am not you that live to impress everybody else and forget to impress your own life. Not everybody deserves my forgiveness and I am not always genuinely willing to let the shit go for the cause that made by assholes on this island. One act like he knows everything about me, one playing around with my human right in my own country that a joke is never ON when it leads to insecurities feeling (I will steal your dog when you are in Jakarta, come on, it is not funny, you ass!), one generalize me the same as she only has trashy friends who always takes her for granted (in this case, material things), the other one thinks she is special and she has the privilege to let me down and not appreciate my existence. Some just being idiots for taking people's kindness for granted thinking they will be just fine.
Stand in my shoes, you will not survive this unbearable pain that I am holding for years and years, and what I only want is simple: go fucking away from our fucking life. 
I am peace enough until you guys make me pissed and not knowing that I am not holding the grudge. I am holding stronger boundaries to not letting you all underestimate me again. Enough is just enough. Do you think it is okay to hurt anyone who never hurt you in the first place? No, it's not. It is not okay to hurt people who never hurt you and it is not okay to let them hurt me even more. 
Trust me, "treat me nice and I will treat you better" is so common in humans life or even as simple as "we seek to deal with others as we would have them deal with us."

Pict Source: Pinterest

Friday, May 1, 2020

Staying in Love

They said "falling in love is easy but staying in love is very special". Indeed. I stay in love with them who's not even alive anymore, just cause forever is not enough, especially when you know you are being loved. 
I saw this picture last week, trapped in between "I'd like to say something too" or "I just leave as it is". And I choose to type now, hahah. 

Picture Source: Instagram @_house.of.leaders_

I don't know yours, but this is what I see behind the picture of this couple:
  • There's not too much "I" or "My" statement or any weaponized words,
  • They don't search online dating when they're fighting. Imagine this era that online dating can accommodate not only single people but also not-available, married people etc, etc, just simply because they're fighting. Isn't it should be fixed instead of having fun that way? What an ego,
  • No one shakes their head when something wrong happened,
  • No one raises the tone when they're upset or walking away so they feel superior especially in front of the public,
  • No one received quotes not to worry from another person who actually ruins every single freaking thing; the quotes, wisdom, bible quotes, trying to comfort and bullshiting in a slutty way, and still ignorance even though she knows that no one cares about what she sends? Pathetic whore are dangerous species in this universe, really,
  • No one scrolling the Phone Books when they get bored sending selfie picture and safety wishes,
  • No one stalking through Social Media from God knows how many accounts they have,
  • No one takes a long damn spin ride alone when they're on quarantine,
  • No one hides anything between two each other,
  • No one seeking perfection from each other as there's nothing perfect in this world, for fuck sake, "0% Perfect, as whore said",
  • No one put out the fire with oil when the fire broke out, someone would bring water instead,
  • No one demand about physical perfection and happy soul all the time,
  • No one playing the victim for every truth founded or slander or distort facts with the assumption,
  • No one calling the wrong name many freaking times and again and again and again without an apology,
  • No one will be taking for granted for the love that too much, the heart that too big and the forgiven that unlimited.

I am not the love expert to see more things about the picture and can share mine but if I may suggest to all of you that falling in love:
  • Love can be painful sometimes but shouldn't be that painful until you sink down and you forget how to swim, so you need to make sure that the love you're fighting for is worth your energy, your time, your everything you have so you feel recharge for every time you feel like giving up, oh, and please don't love too much, don't care too much and do not trust too much,
  •  If you can't love someone in return, please do not hurt them, please please please. I know what it feels like to be loved, people who constantly giving and falling in love and staying in love is using their whole heart and not manipulative, not sugar coating, not trying to impress, it's all naturally coming from the heart even though it's against common sense sometimes. Just don't hurt her/ him :')
  • Instead of remembering the good things all the time, have some time to remember all the trips they made to see you, the pages of the book they read to transport your love story, the music they unlock to so they could listen more, the day/ night time they look after you when you are unwell and nobody cares and for every time she/ he scored your heart even though it's not always easy for her/ him.

Life is shorter than our nails, cherish every moment you have because you don't know that she might crave every freaking Sunday with you, you are her Sundays. Fix the communication that broken, fixes the weaponized words that shouldn't be there, lower your tone, and improve your conversation instead. Start the discussion without waiting too long and being passive most of the time. Talk to her nicely even though you're mad, stop shaking your head, and assume you both are in competition because she's not a dumbass who interest in any competition anyway. Just fucking TALK and FIX it. Be brave, as brave as you are when you walking away or let her standing alone in public. Use that balls to apologize and just accept that it is okay if everything is not perfect and accept to just be grateful for what you currently have.

Blessed those people who love and be loved all their lives, I'm sending my love to you all to survive not only during the quarantine but every day in life. 

"May we choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong." -Thomas S. Monson

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Stay Paw-sitive

My doghter, Roxy, will have surgery tomorrow. As much as I tried not to be nervous in front of her, God knows how worry I am (I hope You do). My tears normally running like broken tap water when I know something happened with this child. The last time she has to be hospitalized, days are long that I couldn't wait to visit her with limited visiting hours.
And tomorrow, 11 AM, I don't know :( really. What should I bring? What should I do? How am I supposed to do to look calm in front of her?

Pict from last August when she hospitalized and Mama can't stop crying.

You're the most beautiful thing in the world, Roxy. You are the Ocean Eyes :')
I woof you more than anything in this world.

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

The Unsaid

I thought we're about to reunite last night? I thought you will hold my hands and help to carry me, Lars? You just laughing on me with Lee that I couldn't make it again, don't you? I don't wanna die on Sunday because you both left on Sunday. I used to like Sunday that much that we called it Sunday Avocuddle. Sunday is the day I will whine on Gareth about what are we going to do and where are we going. But things are not always as easy as Sunday. I'm barely breathing last night, my neck hurt, my tears are running like a waterfall and I'm so tired that I can't describe it any more. I just wanna, boom! Gone.

If there is any chance for you guys to take me, just take me. I had so many meltdown moments lately. I lose all the confidence because people want me to be perfect and I just can't. People want me to be chilled but then I have to keep all the silent tears by myself. And I just can't. And I don't know if I need help or letting them guess that I'm just a happy personality with a sad soul.

I have so many words that were said in the unsaid. When I start losing my people, no matter how I miss them, I'm so grateful that with the smaller circle I know who loves me the most and accepts me the way I am. They know I can't be somebody I can't. I'm all alone but never be lonely, I don't crave the attention; when I miss their presence, we talk, we text or we video call. Except when I miss you, Lars, the only thing I can do just send a message your Mom then continue crying. Not even when I miss Lee, I send a message on Instagram just being silly even though I know he won't reply. I did press the voice call trying to ignore the news that Lee is also not here anymore.

So here am I, stuck with most of the things. I'm too in love to let the things go, I'm too care that I forget to look after myself. Just hopelessly loving and dreaming but I know I'm dead inside.
Send me some positive vibes, please?

Picture's Source: here

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Saved on Instagram

Are you spending more time during quarantine on your Instagram? What is your time on your Instagram? How many accounts you have? And what do you like about it? What kind of posts did you save on your Instagram?

Here's mine:
  • I am not spending more time during #dirumahaja or #stayhome because on regular days, I am spending time on Instagram anyway,
  • My daily average time I spent per day this week during #quarantine is 1h32m,
  • I have 5 accounts with me; 1 is whatever I post, whatever I like, whatever I save, where my friends are, etc. 1 is my true love, Max Moore. 1 is my everything, Roxy Kanahaya. 1 is the account I had on 2016, I separate my personal and professional account because my ex-GM is a total bitch who always related my personal life to professional life; I can't even have my WhatsApp Profile Picture wearing a dress even though it's my phone, I pay for the phone bill as well. Sucks, so I made that account and I don't use it anymore as I am not working in that hell anymore anyway, haha. 1 is for F & B; every picture is either food or beverage and I only follow food bloggers, restaurants, recipes online, etc. Though I have 5 accounts in total, I'm wise enough to use it, I am not using any accounts to stalk and hide from my loved ones to sneak or stab from behind, I am not creating any accounts for my delusional project to impress (which this can be used for stalking as well). Oh, please!
  • What I do like about Instagram; I can see what my friends doing especially those who are far away from me, I can see dogs and animals from all over the world, I can see the news in shorter duration, I can see restaurants promotion, and just like Lee, I like Instagram Direct Messages because we can un-send messages. He said "I can redact messages I wanted to say but then get scared of afterward. Perfect for me! Hahaha." I miss you, Lee, I do :')
  • And this is the latest 15 I saved on my Instagram account: (I capture the pictures with the account names so you can follow them directly)

Home Decor - Anything with high ceiling, books shelves, cement, huge window, I love it. But I look at the tiny ones as well lately:




Quotes - Who doesn't like quotes, by the way? I do, from the serious to not serious, sarcasm, poet, you name it:





Anything funny that sooo me or what I feel right now, which better take it in a jokes way other than crying yourself and read a sad poem:





British touch; the jokes, the accent. Lee normally sends me a lot, which he couldn't do it anymore :') Oh, of course, I have saved his post on his birthday as well. You are the sweetest soul, Lee, gone too soon, it's 5 months now and I still check my phone in the morning to see your morning messages. This is crazy.




:)