I could hear the gunfire when I was going home from school in Aceh.
I could hear the bomb exploded when I was riding a bicycle or playing the kites in every fine afternoon.
But I couldn't say I had a trauma with something loud. I will just close my ears and hold my tears. And I have to be calm so I give the positive energy for Roxy whose afraid of thunder and fireworks.
I will scream very loud when I know someone screaming on my face with the shortest distance they think I'm alright. No, I'm not alright, and I couldn't tell that I'm not alright.
For every time someone screaming on my face I wish I could tell them to stop. I wish I could just run away and never come back. I wish I could tell them I have a live video in my mind that can be played backward when someone screams or talk too loud.
I can see my mother hit me with a broomstick, I can see my mother tie my feet with a rope, I can see my mother tweak my ear, I can see myself running into my maid and making her shirt wet because I cried so much, I can see my brother screaming and bring a kitchen knife to stab me; spit in my face and kick my leg, I can see Lars lying in the coffin and I beg him not to leave me alone.
I can see myself crying for every time you scream on my face and think I will be alright.
No, I'm not alright, please don't scream, I'm begging you just don't.
I could hear the bomb exploded when I was riding a bicycle or playing the kites in every fine afternoon.
But I couldn't say I had a trauma with something loud. I will just close my ears and hold my tears. And I have to be calm so I give the positive energy for Roxy whose afraid of thunder and fireworks.
I will scream very loud when I know someone screaming on my face with the shortest distance they think I'm alright. No, I'm not alright, and I couldn't tell that I'm not alright.
For every time someone screaming on my face I wish I could tell them to stop. I wish I could just run away and never come back. I wish I could tell them I have a live video in my mind that can be played backward when someone screams or talk too loud.
I can see my mother hit me with a broomstick, I can see my mother tie my feet with a rope, I can see my mother tweak my ear, I can see myself running into my maid and making her shirt wet because I cried so much, I can see my brother screaming and bring a kitchen knife to stab me; spit in my face and kick my leg, I can see Lars lying in the coffin and I beg him not to leave me alone.
I can see myself crying for every time you scream on my face and think I will be alright.
No, I'm not alright, please don't scream, I'm begging you just don't.
Illustration pict from here.
