Twin Flame

"Told you our path still would cross many times”.
So we sat the other night, over dinner and cocktails. Bart and I are the unusual our kind of human version that separated by zone and time but doing a similar thing with the same habits.
They called it the Twin Flame and we have fated to meet each other since 4 – 5 years ago. And since then, we’re just like magnets. I had raining compliments from him that I need an umbrella but he couldn’t stop. So I told him something, he went silent.
“I know you carry too much and it’s heavy”. Time to share, he said.
Dear my espresso to my salted caramel gelato, I look forward to having so many trips in the future with you and always excited about how the universe fights for our souls to be together. Yes, “some things are too strange and too strong to be coincidences”.

Pinterest

Same Old Song

“I want to be loved like that. Even he sounds like a psycho”. My friend left a comment, about my -constant storm clouds- story with someone.

“Oh, why? Isn’t it strange, huh?” I said.

“He never leaves you any second. He always there. He always around. And you love him”.

“He loves me more”, I smiled, with my teary eyes.

Pretty much like this:

So I Stay

There's Tear When I Blink

It took me almost 30 years to understand what my Grandma (from my Father) said. When I was little I never understand why I’m not allowed to be in Sukabumi with my Mom’s family. She said I will be surrounded by village kids who play at the dirty ditch, who doesn’t have a proper manner.
Huh? I thought my mom part of the blue blood of her family and we have to treat people nicely?
–  It’s not about that –

I’m not allowed to eat the food from the cart or whatever sell through someone that going around the housing area? Except for the branded bread with a proper truck and in a plastic which considered hygiene otherwise I’ll get sick from bacteria.
– Just do that –

***
We are meeting a lot of people that not behave the same how we being educated. We are not having the same Grandma who tried her best to teach her -not only- granddaughter to conquer the world.
You meet people who didn’t say please and thank you.
You meet people who don’t have anything but keep talking about what they will have and use it as a power to be accepted by the environment.
You meet the people at the beach who will record a video of your dogs without any permission.
You meet the people at the beach who will judge your dog by the look and think that fluffy long hair dog is a better breed.
We are surrounded by all of these things and people who talk too much.
Nothing we can do, we can’t even ask our surrounded to have the same understanding and it is fine. They either accept you the way you are or they can stand against you as well. And it is fine. Our circle will attract itself in such a way. Who we making friends with, who we date, how we eat, what we read, etc.
***

So you are the people you surround yourself with, is my Grandma message. The food you eat has to be hygiene so you will be just healthy, have fun and enjoy the day instead of sick in bed.
I miss her. I miss how she calls me Cut (Cut is one of the nobility titles in Aceh, where I grow up). I miss how she treats all the grandchildren fairly. And she might miss the chance to see what I’ve become :’)

picture illustrated

The Concept of Unwelcome

Yep. I'm becoming more silent these days. I like how 2019 goes well so far in removing toxic people and environment and getting back my beautiful circle simply with forgiveness. Though my eyes see everything, I still believe that silence is a powerful scream.
I let them say whatever they want, very entertaining. Just like two days ago. I like how alcohol has the ability to open someone's mask.
My dearest friends, we are all struggling with our own journey that you don't know and you don't need to be involved. You don't have to say something that might hurt someone else just because you think it's funny or it is protecting your loved ones. Playing hero in the situation that you know nothing about, is never exist.
You don't need to behave like you know everything.
You don't have to be sarcastic when you try to dig something.
You don't have to ask an unnecessary question just to satisfy your ego.
Because you might not know behind her smile is tons of tears and heavy breath to just act like a normal human being. You have no idea how she might spend every savings just to see her -you say not her dog-. You have no idea how hurt it is for her to lose 3 dogs in her life and how she appreciates what she has now. You have no idea why she seems not to contribute at all. You have no idea how she loves her friend so much as he saves her life many times by simply providing what people called home. And it is so much better than wishing that the kitchen knife from her brother is just right in her chest artery, or the string from her mom is just right to her veins, or swap the life with her true love that passed away 5 years ago.
Life is never easy for her. And you, you just making a noise that no one likes.

What she called home, with her very limited time.

And still, there are people that don't grasp the concept of unwelcome.

I have a lot to say but I'm not wasting my time in front of fools :')

Unsaid but Listed

Have a man so you can call him "my boyfriend",
Have a house so you can call it's "my house",
Have a dog so you can call it's "my dog",
Have a status so you can be the part of the rules,
Have whatever you want to have in life so you can say "that's mine".
Until you have it, you really have nothing. not even grey lines.
Until you say it, you really powerless to let them hurt you that much.

While you actually have tons to say, you just choose to keep it listed.
Because not explaining, is also an explanation :')

Laisse-moi Tranquille

"My relationship with people is getting really really bad, Daya".
I talked to my best friend during lunch, he went silent.

I'm only excited to meet new people if they walk their dogs. Otherwise, I keep hanging around my own circle that I've known them before, that been through a lot with me, as I never seek any perfection anyway.

I remove the toxic people lately.
If they think it is okay to mess around between personal and professional, go ahead.
If they think it is okay to do something legit to adjust the color patterm, go ahead.
If they think it is okay to keep canceling an appointment and think that I have lots of time, go ahead.
If they think every mistake deserve a forgiveness, go ahead.
If they think they have the privilege to just get an exclusive time and space, go ahead.
If they think that when I care is equal to controlling their life, go ahead.
If they think that friendship is something that money can buy and guaranteed by material objects so they can judge and be mean, go ahead.

I'm working on myself now. I'm not into a competition or comparison.
Let's just go your way and I'll go mine. Simple, ya?
I learn that letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserved is a huge mistake.

"Maybe I just want to move in peace and not really care what are people doing, Day?" he nodded.
After my curiosity about his new girlfriend, he's actually the one who interests more in my dynamic life story.
It's been 13 years since I met this guy. Oh, he said, "ehm, it's 14 years in June."

I will definitely miss him as soon as I'm back in Bali.