It was yesterday, the day that most of my friend posting about Mother's Day. Sweet, hey? And it seems that they really love their Mom and praise her 'that much' by the way they posting the picture and leave some good notes about. Me? Nope! Trying to see if I care about Mother's Day? Nope, still don't. I'm sorry, Mama.
Yes, I said I'm sorry Mama. I did celebrating Mother's Day for someone else. I'm telling Lars 's Mom how I wish could hug her and be strong as her. She's a single parent with her only son that I love the most: Lars Weddeler.
"Don't cry, baby girl. I whispered myself." She can't speak English, but she still could manage to talk to me through Facebook. Her only want is, to have a picture of Lars that she never see it before, very nice smile and he wear a hat. So I send it. I send my Lars's picture without any jealousy, afraid his Mom steal his smile from me.
After God took him away from me, the my-so-over-protective feeling is stronger. Haha, I'm so sorry, Luv, but I'm really sure you are still here. Mom said she were with you 3 years ago for Christmas. So I said it's the day we break up and I still keep the Christmas gift that I might give to her. And it is another reason why I put your name on my phone book as "Lost in Christmas" instead of "Lars Weddeler".
I did tell Mom, too, about that, Luv. About how I will never forget you, about how you will always be in my heart. Angelo tell me this evening, "Lars wants you to be happy, Lars wants you to move on. There is no limit for grieving, but you will get through this."
And the rain is falling, they're nice enough to be my representative how I'm struggling not to cry listening about what he said. About now I remember I didn't answer my psychiatry question when she's telling me "how genuine are you?" Genuine number one means you accept whatever God's decision. Means that you are very sure, from the bottom of your heart, it is God's plan who creates Lars, and it's okay, God. I accept it.
Number two, memorizing. What we remember is only about memory. Not as not genuine as it should be, but you just can't forget about him. It's like you have a box inside your heart that sometimes you just open, remembering, and close it. Put it the box there, and moving! Or number three: regret, thinking about "what if?" So which one are you? She asked.
So here I stand and then again I cry...
Still couldn't find the answer, but, happy Mother's day to you, too, Mbak Angesty!
Yes, I said I'm sorry Mama. I did celebrating Mother's Day for someone else. I'm telling Lars 's Mom how I wish could hug her and be strong as her. She's a single parent with her only son that I love the most: Lars Weddeler.
"Don't cry, baby girl. I whispered myself." She can't speak English, but she still could manage to talk to me through Facebook. Her only want is, to have a picture of Lars that she never see it before, very nice smile and he wear a hat. So I send it. I send my Lars's picture without any jealousy, afraid his Mom steal his smile from me.
After God took him away from me, the my-so-over-protective feeling is stronger. Haha, I'm so sorry, Luv, but I'm really sure you are still here. Mom said she were with you 3 years ago for Christmas. So I said it's the day we break up and I still keep the Christmas gift that I might give to her. And it is another reason why I put your name on my phone book as "Lost in Christmas" instead of "Lars Weddeler".
I did tell Mom, too, about that, Luv. About how I will never forget you, about how you will always be in my heart. Angelo tell me this evening, "Lars wants you to be happy, Lars wants you to move on. There is no limit for grieving, but you will get through this."
And the rain is falling, they're nice enough to be my representative how I'm struggling not to cry listening about what he said. About now I remember I didn't answer my psychiatry question when she's telling me "how genuine are you?" Genuine number one means you accept whatever God's decision. Means that you are very sure, from the bottom of your heart, it is God's plan who creates Lars, and it's okay, God. I accept it.
Number two, memorizing. What we remember is only about memory. Not as not genuine as it should be, but you just can't forget about him. It's like you have a box inside your heart that sometimes you just open, remembering, and close it. Put it the box there, and moving! Or number three: regret, thinking about "what if?" So which one are you? She asked.
So here I stand and then again I cry...
Still couldn't find the answer, but, happy Mother's day to you, too, Mbak Angesty!
