Not that Friday Feeling

I let a fool affect my life so much.
My parents didn't teach their kids that other people's opinions of me, do not mean shit.

So I listen to Kevin and ignore -that-person-I-won't-talk-about- because she means nothing.

I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm fine. Leave me alone. Come here. Donuts. Love me.

Something Just Like This

Kevin!
Still, the same Kevin that I adore not because he has perfect American accent that I can talk 24 hours with, my second jackpot in life after Lars. I like Kevin and I like our friendship.

Oh, I like Coldplay too, for sure. And as this morning I saw the highlight of joint performance at The BRIT Awards with The Chainsmokers, Something Just Like This, I remember Kevin.

I reply his sarcasm message this morning because he's almost giving up remind me about, ehm, long working hours at work and being too cold with men. Don't ask me, ask Kevin. I even ask Kevin what am I, and I like his reply,
"I think you are who you choose to be at the moment. I don't think anyone but me (and a small handful of others) would describe you as unsure or vulnerable. Project a public image of "Sheena" the Warrior Princess, but privately more like "Dora" the Explorer."

Kevin and Kai. Not really sure how to describe our friendship, something in the way he makes me feel like, I want you to stay. I want someone like Kevin, I want "Something Just Like This."

I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts

When Everything Feels Like the Movie

Yeah, you bleed just to know your alive!

And I am still, alive, I'm sure?
It wasn't my plan to watch this sad movie, "Me Before You". If I knew that it will be sad, of course, I will just turn off the TV.

I don't have 'that' chance, no I don't. To look after you before you're gone, forever. I don't have 'that' chance, to be that woman who can say "I kissed him, trying to bring him back. I kissed him and let my lips rest against his so that our breath mingled and the tears from my eyes became salt on his skin, and I told myself that, somewhere, tiny particles of him would become tiny particles of me, ingested, swallowed, alive, perpetual. I wanted to press every bit of me against him. I wanted to will something into him. I wanted to give him every bit of life I felt and force him to live." -Page 360, Jojo Moyes

The day that I know that you're passed away, I can feel this world freeze for seconds, my teary eyes when I had fire alarm meeting just can't stand there anymore. I just want to run from where am I that time, I want to scream as loud as I can. I love you, how am I supposed to live with that?

But ya, I am that girl who finally can say "I held him close and said nothing, all the while telling him silently that he was loved. Oh, but he was loved." -Page 361, Jojo Moyes; on the day when I saw you for the last time, the body that just... rest, for forever, and say nothing.

It hits me so much harder than I ever thought it would, even after more than three years, my love.

The bumblebee tights, I don't want that. I just want you, again, one more time, Lars. One more time.

Please.. please.. please.... :'(

 Just live.