It is never my job to be everything to everyone. But some people are still too delusional that they think it's disrespectful when I don't forgive and let the shit go, and allow them to continue to disrespect me. And it's never the first time for me to listen to "let it go, Risy, we met people who say something we don't like but we need to accept that." Not for me, I am not you that live to impress everybody else and forget to impress your own life. Not everybody deserves my forgiveness and I am not always genuinely willing to let the shit go for the cause that made by assholes on this island. One act like he knows everything about me, one playing around with my human right in my own country that a joke is never ON when it leads to insecurities feeling (I will steal your dog when you are in Jakarta, come on, it is not funny, you ass!), one generalize me the same as she only has trashy friends who always takes her for granted (in this case, material things), the other one thinks she is special and she has the privilege to let me down and not appreciate my existence. Some just being idiots for taking people's kindness for granted thinking they will be just fine.
Stand in my shoes, you will not survive this unbearable pain that I am holding for years and years, and what I only want is simple: go fucking away from our fucking life.
I am peace enough until you guys make me pissed and not knowing that I am not holding the grudge. I am holding stronger boundaries to not letting you all underestimate me again. Enough is just enough. Do you think it is okay to hurt anyone who never hurt you in the first place? No, it's not. It is not okay to hurt people who never hurt you and it is not okay to let them hurt me even more.
Trust me, "treat me nice and I will treat you better" is so common in humans life or even as simple as "we seek to deal with others as we would have them deal with us."
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