But Please---

 I posted this picture 5 years ago, 22 months after you passed away:

I know, I know it's 6 years 10 months today and I'm still grieving. I am sorry but I miss you that much that I always cry when I remember you, Lars. Not that I am upset that you are not here anymore, not that I want you to come back alive for me. I miss being myself without you trying to change me at all. I'm not perfect, nobody is, but at least you let me by myself that I could be messy, stubborn AF, happy and weird without any reasons, moody, or shitty and you never judge me for any second. I don't have a fake image to maintain, if I am so shitty there must be something. Life always as simple as "there's no smoke if there's no fire" and I could be shitty anytime; in the morning, afternoon, whenever someone upsets me; before or after coffee, I could be upset anytime when there is a cause and you never stop me, you never standing on their side for any once as you know you don't have to stand on my side either, but at least you don't say a thing, you don't stop me or you will assume that I am insecure people attacking me by being impolite. 

I bet you and Lee love heaven that much as people could be so shitty here. It cost ZERO energy to be polite, it cost ZERO energy to asking permission if anyone would love to take a picture of our belongings instead of sneaking around lesser than 1 freaking meter to just asking "Excuse me, your dogs are beautiful, do you mind if I take a picture of them?" IT COST NOTHING TO BE A POLITE HUMAN, FOR FUCK SAKE. 

And it cost nothing to don't say a thing instead of hurting your loved ones by standing on the wrong side which you and Lee never did. God, I miss you guys so much that words and tears couldn't describe, but I know you guys will be around in the shape of my son :') 

Thank you, for making me realize that there's no coincidence in this life.

P. S. You know what.