"I never ask you to change, how about you just be chilled?" says someone who (actually) not chill either. Faking around the anger and upset behind. I'm not you, I speak up and tell the person when something goes wrong instead of faking the smile and act like there's nothing wrong and being nice in front of the person but then throw the shit to somebody else and talk at the back.
"Stay alive and try to enjoy life. Lars died multiple years ago and not worth your suicide plan, Risy." says someone who can't accept my past but then force me to accept his in such a not nice way. Lars passed away and I don't need people to remind me again and again. I said this before, once I love, I love. With Lars, forever is not enough, till death tear us apart also not enough. And it's not fair to put a dead person head to head with someone that still alive. Not at all.
"Try to love your job without but, will you?" says a big boss in a small company with perhaps 11 people are not really knowing what they're doing but as long as I get paid, who cares, 1 person is totally useless and approaching through personal every freaking time and the rest 4 doing their best but since they're too professional the useless 1 still winning in getting attention. Yep, attention and recognition are not the same in the professional world, in case you don't know. Oh, of course, you know, you are the best, experienced person in the entire universe.
Well, a job for me is a passion, it's a hobby that is paid. If you are familiar with favoritism and working with people without the right background, it doesn't mean I keen to adjust as you do.
"That is not fair, you set up a double standard." says someone who wanted to be loved, knowing that he is being loved, knowing that he will never get left because he's being loved that much but then instead of putting an effort to appreciate it he spread the love that he gets to everybody he thinks they're impressed.
"You are insecure, Risy." says someone who knows very well I left the person who loves me (and of course I love him) that cheats on me even though he is everything in this world; top position in one of the world's largest company, giving me a fancy world, the joy and the everything I couldn't ask for.
Tell me again why would I insecure? Are you the sexiest man alive? Are you the Billionaires club member in this country? Or are you forget that I am not impressed with the white skin blonde hair who is too naive that everything is easy to get e.g. women? Or are you forget that the woman seat at your charity of proud with beard thingy is soooooooooooo, I don't know I will be mean to continue the sentences but please tell me insecure if she is at least a Manager with many awards work in Wolrd's Five Stars Hotel, if she is single (not a young widow), if she's not only having the ability to only show her body in bikini (come on at least good English), if she's not working as a waitress in warung or hostess who definitely use you to ladder her life (and her family in the village, of course), oh, and free printing & free meals in the restaurant.
It won't work, isn't it? It seems that it's not only my body that too big for you to see my existence, but my heart, my love, my attention are also too big for you to see. You keep looking for everything outside you haven't realized you won't find the love I have to you and everything will be too late for you to realize, one day. I can't make you appreciate what I'm doing more while you keep refusing and searching into somebody else. My silence is sorting out the chaos in this head, the madness in this heart and you busy doing your "boredness" and "silliness" to win your ego. You could've sorry and make it up instead of using the excuse of "because we fight all the time". You are not that heartless, but please don't be effortless to just be whatever about it. I'm sorry I'm not good enough but I tried to be. My hair is not silky smooth as you wish and everything about me will never be enough.
But:
So if we noticed that we both not perfect on so many levels, why keep pushing people to be someone who they are not? Why keep looking for someone that perfect on so many levels?
Why can't we be grateful for what we have and cherish the moment that very limited by the time? It's not perfect, but nothing as sincere as the love that too big, to forgive and to never give up and to accept you, as who you are.
"Stay alive and try to enjoy life. Lars died multiple years ago and not worth your suicide plan, Risy." says someone who can't accept my past but then force me to accept his in such a not nice way. Lars passed away and I don't need people to remind me again and again. I said this before, once I love, I love. With Lars, forever is not enough, till death tear us apart also not enough. And it's not fair to put a dead person head to head with someone that still alive. Not at all.
"Try to love your job without but, will you?" says a big boss in a small company with perhaps 11 people are not really knowing what they're doing but as long as I get paid, who cares, 1 person is totally useless and approaching through personal every freaking time and the rest 4 doing their best but since they're too professional the useless 1 still winning in getting attention. Yep, attention and recognition are not the same in the professional world, in case you don't know. Oh, of course, you know, you are the best, experienced person in the entire universe.
Well, a job for me is a passion, it's a hobby that is paid. If you are familiar with favoritism and working with people without the right background, it doesn't mean I keen to adjust as you do.
"That is not fair, you set up a double standard." says someone who wanted to be loved, knowing that he is being loved, knowing that he will never get left because he's being loved that much but then instead of putting an effort to appreciate it he spread the love that he gets to everybody he thinks they're impressed.
"You are insecure, Risy." says someone who knows very well I left the person who loves me (and of course I love him) that cheats on me even though he is everything in this world; top position in one of the world's largest company, giving me a fancy world, the joy and the everything I couldn't ask for.
Tell me again why would I insecure? Are you the sexiest man alive? Are you the Billionaires club member in this country? Or are you forget that I am not impressed with the white skin blonde hair who is too naive that everything is easy to get e.g. women? Or are you forget that the woman seat at your charity of proud with beard thingy is soooooooooooo, I don't know I will be mean to continue the sentences but please tell me insecure if she is at least a Manager with many awards work in Wolrd's Five Stars Hotel, if she is single (not a young widow), if she's not only having the ability to only show her body in bikini (come on at least good English), if she's not working as a waitress in warung or hostess who definitely use you to ladder her life (and her family in the village, of course), oh, and free printing & free meals in the restaurant.
It won't work, isn't it? It seems that it's not only my body that too big for you to see my existence, but my heart, my love, my attention are also too big for you to see. You keep looking for everything outside you haven't realized you won't find the love I have to you and everything will be too late for you to realize, one day. I can't make you appreciate what I'm doing more while you keep refusing and searching into somebody else. My silence is sorting out the chaos in this head, the madness in this heart and you busy doing your "boredness" and "silliness" to win your ego. You could've sorry and make it up instead of using the excuse of "because we fight all the time". You are not that heartless, but please don't be effortless to just be whatever about it. I'm sorry I'm not good enough but I tried to be. My hair is not silky smooth as you wish and everything about me will never be enough.
But:
Source: Pinterest
So if we noticed that we both not perfect on so many levels, why keep pushing people to be someone who they are not? Why keep looking for someone that perfect on so many levels?
Why can't we be grateful for what we have and cherish the moment that very limited by the time? It's not perfect, but nothing as sincere as the love that too big, to forgive and to never give up and to accept you, as who you are.
Source: Pinterest
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