Remember the day I post a picture and caption “Don’t ask what happen with my eyes.”?
Nothing happening. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday and all I could think about is Lee.
So I dare myself to say hello again, and he replied. And a tear when I blink after I read his message. It becomes a gloomy day that drives me to overthink about lots of things.
I'm not gonna talking about Lee only this time. In life, I choose love, affection, and emotional support over being showered with materialistically and physically. Sad how I keep focussing on people who do so little for my mental health, who didn’t value myself but control so much my mind, my feelings, my emotions. And I still think I wanted this person just because I don’t wanna lose the togetherness, I’m too familiar and too comfortable with the time we spend and we almost have everything if we want. But he didn’t want it, crystal clear from the beginning. And I finally didn’t want it too.
I just want my old self back, I want to be the better person for my self but I will keep my intentions to him pure. I deserve a man who loves me for the little things, and it won’t be him. You can be in the same bed with someone but still feel lonely, simply because he never falls in love with you. You can love someone to the galaxy and back and still not able to be with them. You can do all the good things but they will focus more on the mistakes you have. They will tell you we have too many baggage while they have even heavier baggage than us.
Well, let’s just love because we love to love then. Pain is inevitable and it will exist, but if we focus on understanding what we are feeling and why you are feeling it, we will overcome it. It is so natural that what and who we are is what we’ll attract. As simple as that. We deserve to be chosen undoubtedly over and over again.
With so many people love you, value you and fight to get the privilege to fall in love with you, please please please do not focus on those not. It’s a waste of time to fight for someone to fall in love back with you. Re-read all your compliments card, your messages that brighten your day, your love letters, everything that makes you feel that you are valued. Remember the good days when your people treat you so much better, when they praise you, and when they honor you because you deserve to, and you don’t even have to try harder.
When you tired just to be accepted for the way you are, someone is missing you, missing your sense of humor (that other people think you don’t even have one), miss seeing the world through your eyes :')
And I don't want to go back to what buried me, what breaking me: body and soul.
Nothing happening. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday and all I could think about is Lee.
So I dare myself to say hello again, and he replied. And a tear when I blink after I read his message. It becomes a gloomy day that drives me to overthink about lots of things.
I'm not gonna talking about Lee only this time. In life, I choose love, affection, and emotional support over being showered with materialistically and physically. Sad how I keep focussing on people who do so little for my mental health, who didn’t value myself but control so much my mind, my feelings, my emotions. And I still think I wanted this person just because I don’t wanna lose the togetherness, I’m too familiar and too comfortable with the time we spend and we almost have everything if we want. But he didn’t want it, crystal clear from the beginning. And I finally didn’t want it too.
I just want my old self back, I want to be the better person for my self but I will keep my intentions to him pure. I deserve a man who loves me for the little things, and it won’t be him. You can be in the same bed with someone but still feel lonely, simply because he never falls in love with you. You can love someone to the galaxy and back and still not able to be with them. You can do all the good things but they will focus more on the mistakes you have. They will tell you we have too many baggage while they have even heavier baggage than us.
Well, let’s just love because we love to love then. Pain is inevitable and it will exist, but if we focus on understanding what we are feeling and why you are feeling it, we will overcome it. It is so natural that what and who we are is what we’ll attract. As simple as that. We deserve to be chosen undoubtedly over and over again.
With so many people love you, value you and fight to get the privilege to fall in love with you, please please please do not focus on those not. It’s a waste of time to fight for someone to fall in love back with you. Re-read all your compliments card, your messages that brighten your day, your love letters, everything that makes you feel that you are valued. Remember the good days when your people treat you so much better, when they praise you, and when they honor you because you deserve to, and you don’t even have to try harder.
When you tired just to be accepted for the way you are, someone is missing you, missing your sense of humor (that other people think you don’t even have one), miss seeing the world through your eyes :')
The eyes that Lee misses, one day after Lee's birthday.
Might nothing for other people, but everything for Lee, for other Lee, and for myself to love me even more.
And I don't want to go back to what buried me, what breaking me: body and soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment