For Snow Fall on the Sahara

It's almost 3 months ago when he remind me not to like him 'that' much.
It's almost 3 months ago when I wrote something about him.. and he suddenly.. gone.

And after 3 months I let myself freely in living.
Spend most my weekend without knowing with whom and where to go.
Keep sending him a good night indicating that he's the only person I remember even when I'm off to bed and the only one in my mind with no reply...

I admit myself while I'm looking deep down on him with my crystal eyes :')

:')

D: How are you? Just a second after he kissed my lips.
Me: Sucks. Without you.
D: Oh yea? Well me too.

Yes! The fact that not having him in my life is possibility really sucks.
For every laugh, smile, hug, memory, fight, cry, and deep conversation, of course, I want to be with him.

D: Welcome home, baby. So this is the new house, very huge right?  I'm waiting for your comment, you like it?
Me: Keep staring at his eyes and ain't answer anything. Babe, I'm speechless, this is a very dream house of people, huge, with swimming pool and dog, what else to ask? I'm happy to be with you around, as long as you around, Dave :')

Pinterest

Well, I still don't have any idea see how me and him -us- working these things out. Yea, we're not 'that' far, but maybe we are the part of relationship's diagram: love-couple-sex-it's complicated-perfect match-f buddy-friendship.

Or maybe sometimes you feel everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes I find myself smiling when missing something at the same time. At times, I can absolutely love a person while wanting to hate them.
Well, that's again life! Comes with no guarantee but you have the right to expect that something can brighten your face-by-the-time-I'm-telling-him-the-truth-that-how-I-miss-being-with-him-after-he-ask-me-do-you-like-me-that-much?-

 :')

Who cares about shit happens for a perfect reason? About how he may now at the weakest need someone to lift him up! I'm in! Count me in!

I can't promise to fix all your problems, Babe. But I can promise you won't have to face them alone.
At least, you can cherish for I never give up on you...

 And feel this way :)

 May I?

You Accept The Love You Think You Deserve

I don’t have any idea how many people fallin’ in fallin’ out of love.

Tried to love and or to be loved but always end up with a broken heart.

And how many people still believe that true love truly exists? The rest can go with such lovely things uncalled love; flirt, dating, one-night stand.

Me? I’ve tried and I try to move my feet, move on from somebody that I know he doesn’t exist, his love may don't exist too, his memories, his sudden feeling. 

Well, I’m not ‘that’ naïve can say a flowery thing or flowery words is a crazy little thing called love, no I’m not.

I keep everything flowing like a river even I know it surely to the sea, but can I say I’m tired?

I’m tired of guessing, I’m tired even not expecting something I know I didn’t do that.

People hurt, people leave, and life must go on.

You may in love with somebody that loving another person even you know it doesn’t work. People also may love you even they know that you’re just not into him.

And yes, it’s not a game; it’s a real fact of a real life that you can always accept anything you don’t want.

You want to be her so he can love you. Does he want to be with him so I can love him?

It’s not how things works as well, darling. 

People need space, to freely live their own life, to know what they must do, what they must say even it hurts or even its not acceptable…

And if wisdom is the only one you have to accept all the things that you can’t change… Do you mind to believe, that true love may truly exist? That you are really deserved to accept the love?

Pinterest

In the other way and in the other time, I may choose to believe it :’)

What Passion Can Do

Good afternoon, Sir. 

My name is K, I’m the manager on duty in charge of our property. Is there anything I can help to assist you, Sir?

He’s screaming out to my face and telling me everything. Describe me how he hates the hotel, how the reception doesn’t work as they used to be, how he hates the porter cause he keeps thinking that all we do is so wrong.

Well, I’m not assigned to be slapped by complainer; I didn’t apply to be-a-garbage-that-you-all-can-say-anything-you-want-to me.

Do I look ‘that’ nice so in the end sometimes you just stop saying a word and no idea what’s to continues, to be say sorry as well for what you did?

Do you need a brain, do you need a heart, take mine, take everything all I have.

 Yea I wish I can say it But I can’t. 

For every bad treatment people do, I keep quiet, for every word hurt, I keep forgive, and to back to the front line as I’m on fire enjoying to be a front liner, is all about passion.

Respect and money have nothing to do with this, what money can do in delivering the message that required a satisfaction? It has nothing to do.

Happy MOD K, you are loved, Miss Manager On Duty!

passion

What Wisdom Says...

What we can learn from experience, through the words of wisdom:

Have some way:

 Deal with it

It's okay with the alcohol :'))

No regret, please!

It's your call, people :')

I am; still believe, can, and will do...

And what is your favorite wisdom?

Happy 'Bubbly' Birthday, Chris!

No, I swear I don't forget your birthday. Not even you put 23 in your mail ID so people can confuse you were born on 23 July instead of 22 July. Not also surer because your mom posts on your Facebook's wall, sweet wishes :')

My reminder keeps blinking as my heart also still skip a beat every time I remember you. It's 12:00 midnight Indonesia time- I'm dying hard to open up my eyes and say a little prayer with lotta wishes -a-wishing-you-all-the-best- for you, Mr. Gordon.

A morning hello to my birthday boy and how I'm wishing you around, how I'm wishing the best cuddling or the warmest hug.

Just give me a reason | Just a little bit's enough | Just a second we're not broken just bent | And we can learn to love again | My alarm wakes me up, yeah learn to love again.
I'd love to, but it seems aaaaagh OK.

My manager on duty schedule today while I keep thinking what's to show you that here, Indonesia is also celebrating your birthday.

A glass of Tomato Cooler, a slice of Red Velvet Cake, a Happy Birthday Card, and me.
Went to roof top 33rd floor and close my eyes again. No, I will not jump to the down or wishing I could fly to Sydney just to blow a candle with you.

At least, what must happen, will happen.

It's Friday already, the day that I can't believe I'm still here, just can't stop thinking about you.

P.S. Guess what :)

Hear Here...!

A Daughter's First Love

How many guy did you fall in and let them broke your heart without realizing that Dad is your true love?

Yes, Dad is a daughter's first love.

I can't remember how many times I annoy my Dad or the other way around which I really don't mind :')

I'm 25 years old by next month, but my Dad still reminds me this morning to pay the bill on time.

Truly inspired to share you these:

Peekaboo

 Precious Life

This Is Great

And This Too

Well, my future husband and child definitely will have the precious sights as this: 

Soon :')

Perempuan Itu Saya!

Tidak ia berkeluh kesah waktu hatinya pedih pilu karena ada saja yang berusaha menyakitinya.
Tidak juga ia menyesal tidak mengambil tawaran yang ia anggap mampu mengajarkannya bagaimana ketidakpedulian mampu menyelamatkan dirinya sendiri tanpa perlu berusaha keras.

Air matanya tumpah ketika sunyi senyap dengan sedikit hembusan angin terdengar di telinganya.
Tubuhnya jatuh berlutut saat ia berjalan dan memasrahkan hidup serta hatinya kepada Tuhan.
Susah payah ia bersembunyi dari mereka yang bahkan tidak lagi tahu kepada siapa ia memohon doa. Kepada siapa ia bertekuk lutut memohon harapan dan kasih setia.
Jiwanya yang setengah kosong dipertaruhkan demi Tuhan-nya yang ia yakini kekasih paling setia.

Tidak, tidak ia takut kepada matahari yang meninggalkan kilau cokelat di tubuhnya.
Tidak juga ia hindari mereka yang berkulit putih jatuh hati.
Hatinya sederhana, dalam diam ia berharap ada satu nantinya yang akan menjaganya hingga akhir hayat.
Pun pikirannya, tidak ia pedulikan orang lain berkata dan berpikir apa hingga terpaksa ia harus berbuat serupa.

Apalagi? Rambutnya yang panjang dan sehat dibiarkan tergerai jatuh dengan sempurna.
Senyumnya yang menyembunyikan pilu ditebarkan dengan mudah kepada siapa saja. Siapa saja.
Tawanya yang menyimpan sejuta luka ia biarkan bergaung di udara.
Angin dan hujan tetap mengiri langkahnya yang tampak kuat tanpa lelah.
Kakinya dibiarkan tidak berbentuk, menahan sakit sepatu tinggi yang ia kembali gunakan setelah sekian lama ia tinggalkan dan menggantinya dengan sendal jepit.

Dia rindu itu, 2 potong penutup buah dada dan kedua pantatnya yang mereka bilang luar biasa besarnya, dan sepasang sendal jepit atau kaki telanjang menemaninya pulang ke rumah: pantai.
Hanya di sana damai ia temukan. Cintanya datang dan pergi di tempat yang sama.
Kalau saja ia masih berharap suatu saat ia kembali, sudah pasti cintanya yang akan ia datangi.

Ketika bicara cinta, hanya Chris saja yang mampu ia sebut dan ia ingat.
Tidak tentang memori, tapi dua hal: hati dan rumah.
Lelaki-lelaki lain hanya dibiarkan menghibur harinya yang keras.
Mengisi kekosongan yang sebenarnya tidak pernah kosong.

Oh, tidak juga soal pengakuan. Ada status yang ia butuhkan hanya untuk eksistensi.
Selebihnya, hati dan cintanya dipenjarakan sampai akhirnya tiba.
Pulang kembali ke rumah.

Merasa istimewa? Tidak pernah. Ia diberkati oleh Tuhan, dengan sangat luar biasa :')