"I'm sorry, I wish I could stop him. I'm so sorry." Pond tried not to cry when she talks to me last night. Her tiny lips are shaking and she's holding her teary eyes and keep focus looking at me while her hands trying to comfort me.
I said to myself, please don't cry. I remember Lars' Mom is trying her best to show me that she is strong because she knows I'll be super weak if she is also sad about the loss of Lars. This time I have to act that way. Grieving of Lee in Lars' Mom way. Stay strong, please please please, baby girl. Phew. I look at the roof, the wall and hold my breath.
"I love him, Pond."
"He loves you more, it's such a deep feeling between you two. I still can't believe that Lee left. I said to my friend I wish something can bring him back. It's hard for me to believe it", Pond said.
"I know, he scares me with the huge love that he has. I run away. I'm too scared. He flirts too much, he loves me too much. And I think it's crazy, Pond. Noone ready for attachment, nor relationship." I start biting my lip and keep looking around so tears not drop.
I was so upset to Lee that I decide to just ignore his all messages, I said I need fresh air. He's at the hospital just a night after that. I did say sorry that he didn't deserve the silence, I send him a song from John Mayer - Carry Me Away, I draw a Saury picture. And he's gone three days after I apologize, he forgives me. He loves me, he loves all of us. He supports me, he supports all of us. And if I could travel back in time, I would love to thank him for all the love he has for me, all the crazy things he did to stick around with me, all the good things he did, all the plans he has to keep me happy.
And a few seconds to just say that I will always love him that I should stop hide it just because I'm too scared to lose him.
Lee, I am sorry that I always think we are all having tomorrow but we're not. You have no idea how much it kills me not talking to you and hearing your voice anymore. I wasn't ready to say goodbye and will never be ready.
You are the good days of everybody who loves you, Lee. I bet you're smiling up there seeing us here :')
I said to myself, please don't cry. I remember Lars' Mom is trying her best to show me that she is strong because she knows I'll be super weak if she is also sad about the loss of Lars. This time I have to act that way. Grieving of Lee in Lars' Mom way. Stay strong, please please please, baby girl. Phew. I look at the roof, the wall and hold my breath.
"I love him, Pond."
"He loves you more, it's such a deep feeling between you two. I still can't believe that Lee left. I said to my friend I wish something can bring him back. It's hard for me to believe it", Pond said.
"I know, he scares me with the huge love that he has. I run away. I'm too scared. He flirts too much, he loves me too much. And I think it's crazy, Pond. Noone ready for attachment, nor relationship." I start biting my lip and keep looking around so tears not drop.
I was so upset to Lee that I decide to just ignore his all messages, I said I need fresh air. He's at the hospital just a night after that. I did say sorry that he didn't deserve the silence, I send him a song from John Mayer - Carry Me Away, I draw a Saury picture. And he's gone three days after I apologize, he forgives me. He loves me, he loves all of us. He supports me, he supports all of us. And if I could travel back in time, I would love to thank him for all the love he has for me, all the crazy things he did to stick around with me, all the good things he did, all the plans he has to keep me happy.
And a few seconds to just say that I will always love him that I should stop hide it just because I'm too scared to lose him.
Lee, I am sorry that I always think we are all having tomorrow but we're not. You have no idea how much it kills me not talking to you and hearing your voice anymore. I wasn't ready to say goodbye and will never be ready.
You are the good days of everybody who loves you, Lee. I bet you're smiling up there seeing us here :')
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we've been through.
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