I broke my toe, you broke my heart.
All alone I watch you watch her.
I pulled myself on you, you didn't like that shit.
So I never mind that shit, too.
I let you underestimate me, so I can embarrass you,
but I don't do that.
I'm so afraid of being hurt,
you will never understand.
I'm so proud of you,
but you're too blind to see that.
I'm so in love with my job,
until you ruin it.
I didn't break the shower head,
you say I did.
I'm fighting a battle too,
you know nothing about.
A lot of "you", yes, as I can't mention the names and I don't have to.
I'm such a fool, I know. It delivers me to the part of introvert hangover that I can't avoid.
It's draining, I closed my eyes wishing for a healthy body and mind so I can bear the (at least) 16 hours working a day.
I believe in myself and the universe that karma always coming at the right time.
I do believe God helps me when I'm stumbling on my feet, through the people surround me, through the enemy that feels so close.
Until all the part in me, are tired. My hands are shaking while I sip my coffee, days mostly where even my coffee needs a coffee and so tired my tired is tired.
Guess what, 28 is hard too, you know, I thought 27 is the hardest, damn it's not! Haha.
It's me, playing the same game again and again. Playing the part of "it is fine to put people first, it is fine to let them broke my heart, it is fine to not saying anything when people judge, it is wrong to say no, it is wrong for not helping people." I forget to put my self first, I don't know what self-care is, I don't have the boundaries, I give 200 when I don't even have to give 100.
So then maybe, this is the time to do it. Stop needing people who don't deserve me, it's okay to be just good, not perfect. What about fallin' in love with myself all over again, every day? Having a mindset of "you are not selfish for wanting to be treated well", "you owe yourself the love you freely give to people", and "focusing a little more on yourself, is beautiful."
Just like Marie Jo Schwarz said,
"Darling, loving yourself means letting someone else love you too."
And of course, I do love you :')
All alone I watch you watch her.
I pulled myself on you, you didn't like that shit.
So I never mind that shit, too.
I let you underestimate me, so I can embarrass you,
but I don't do that.
I'm so afraid of being hurt,
you will never understand.
I'm so proud of you,
but you're too blind to see that.
I'm so in love with my job,
until you ruin it.
I didn't break the shower head,
you say I did.
I'm fighting a battle too,
you know nothing about.
A lot of "you", yes, as I can't mention the names and I don't have to.
I'm such a fool, I know. It delivers me to the part of introvert hangover that I can't avoid.
It's draining, I closed my eyes wishing for a healthy body and mind so I can bear the (at least) 16 hours working a day.
I believe in myself and the universe that karma always coming at the right time.
I do believe God helps me when I'm stumbling on my feet, through the people surround me, through the enemy that feels so close.
Until all the part in me, are tired. My hands are shaking while I sip my coffee, days mostly where even my coffee needs a coffee and so tired my tired is tired.
Guess what, 28 is hard too, you know, I thought 27 is the hardest, damn it's not! Haha.
It's me, playing the same game again and again. Playing the part of "it is fine to put people first, it is fine to let them broke my heart, it is fine to not saying anything when people judge, it is wrong to say no, it is wrong for not helping people." I forget to put my self first, I don't know what self-care is, I don't have the boundaries, I give 200 when I don't even have to give 100.
So then maybe, this is the time to do it. Stop needing people who don't deserve me, it's okay to be just good, not perfect. What about fallin' in love with myself all over again, every day? Having a mindset of "you are not selfish for wanting to be treated well", "you owe yourself the love you freely give to people", and "focusing a little more on yourself, is beautiful."
Just like Marie Jo Schwarz said,
"Darling, loving yourself means letting someone else love you too."
And of course, I do love you :')
Twenty Nine, I'm so blessed.
P.S. I made a wish in this beautiful picture, I was the happiest, spoiled birthday girl.
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