Oh, it was hard and it is.
I didn't make any plan to celebrate my 27th birthday last year at the shooting range so I can start, at least, something different and powerful. If the year before you celebrate with someone who makes you the happiest lady in this universe, this time, Christie was with me. Means it’s always a very good celebration of getting older! And I can’t run to agree that life, is indeed, like a roller-coaster. I wish I could cry louder knowing a 3,5 months old baby of my BFF didn’t have the chance to feel the rhythm of life. And if life is seriously trying to be kind, they could just swap. The baby and Lars.
My favorite words from Michael Faudet last year, "She was a curious girl, a wanderer, who spent her summers chasing fluttering pieces of prose and eating strawberries."
And this is the puzzle in twenty-seven pieces:
1. For a healthy mind and body, talk to a psychologist
God, I’m adoring her! Thank you for saving my life, Mbak Angesty Putri. She’s one time asked me to write 100 things that I’m thankful about (I will share you later, I promise). I have a lot of favorite words from her but, I guess I need to remember again and again. “Inget,, not everyone deserves your energy… tolong inget itu.”
2. I was made for sunny days
I made do with grey, but I didn’t stay, I was made for sunny days and I was made for you. Hahaha, my Gili Islands routine. No shirt, no flip flop, no problem!
3. Ice cream
It’s never too cold for ice cream, nor for me, lol! Yep, I like eating ice cream. Ben & Jerry, they seem the only two men who really understand women, ya? Oh, and it’s never too cold to walk in the rain with me, by the way.
4. I love you like big fat pig
No, no. Not about loving pig after eating my favorite pork ribs in Ubud, Naughty Nuri’s. But dear food, I love you like a big fat pig! And I’m using the food to deal with anxiety and stress, too!
5. The Simpsons
I was once waking up in Lombok Island and watching The Simpsons after questioning myself “what the hell am I doing here?” But then, “I am the lizard queen! I want strawberries!” –Lisa Simpson
6. Papa turning 70
I’m 27 and he’s 70, but I’ll be his forever 3. And I miss being a kid, Pa. Scrap knees are easier to fix than a broken heart.
7. The fine print
There are a million things that are going through my brain when I’m reading books, letter, post card, notes, and the newspaper that hotel send to the room every morning. Classic ya? And ah-dorkable! Hahaha.
8. True friends
An acquaintance, mentor, online friend, friend, good friend, best friend and best friend forever, I have them all. They’re come and go, but after all, they’re the greatest blessings, warm the soul. And I don’t force them, if it’s not mutual, I’ll let them go.
9. Coffee & Croissant
America being behind France in upward mobility is a little bit like France being behind America in Croissants and Afternoon Sex. –Arianna Huffington.
Haha! My friend Gareth and I normally hang out every Sunday to Monsieur Spoon in Canggu when he’s still living there, with Max too. Max, the goof American Bully that I love the most, is enjoying the croissant very much!
10. So sick of love songs
Well, the tears are universal and yes, I have the same question about “theory of the song’s roiling emotions”. But if I have to choose one song, it will be Somewhere Only We Know by Keane:
“Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on...."
11. Kopi Pertama
Not a fan of Raditya Dika, but I always insert his “first coffee quotes” when I post something about my coffee. My favorite one is “Kopi pertama pagi ini. Luber. Seperti cinta yang datang di hati yang tidak terlalu lapang.”
12. Mobile phone habit
People spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking beer, tongue kissing, and dancing in the streets. Sad ya?
13. You cannot make everybody happy, you’re not a Nutella jar
Who’s not loving Nutella and not happy about that. And I am having a habit of putting someone else before me. Putting another person above me. I make them happy and I forgot to make myself also happy!
14. Noah Krockel
This is the year that his Dad, the Director of Operation of my two previous company moving to China. He’s a great boss that I can always work with, very cooperative. And Noah is always become a reason for me to have kids and into them. After Noah left, I want dogs more allowed in places, not children under 8 years. Yep, not into marriage, not into kids.
15. Elephants never forget
I’m walking away for anything saddens me. Someone who kill the elephant, gorilla, etc etc and post it on Facebook and other social media… don’t tell me about it! I could cry like a kid losing her dolls. And yep, just like an elephant, I have a good memory and I unlikely to forget something.
16. No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear
I did meeting Lars on Saturday night, I did!!! Silly I know, but he came over through the body of a Moslem Priest. I hold his hands and he touches my head gently, very gently. He didn’t say anything as it seems impossible as I have depression anyway. Be patience, let it all go. The saddest part was when the Priest told me he loves me sincerely. And again, tears running on my cheek. Vera and Allya struggling to hold me tight. “Jangan pergi.” I said. Just don’t.
17. Career
I quit my job. Sigh. Working with one of the big group hotel company and moving after I got my job promotion, (Legian and Seminyak), is the worst part ever. Ever. I’m not joking. But at least the General Manager extend his apology by saying “we are sorry to put you in a wrong working environment, wrong working atmosphere. If you still consider to work with our group, please let me know.” NAH! NAH! NAH! Never again. Haha. I’m walking away, I am good. Hong Kong – Singapore – Surabaya – Jakarta – around the world!
18. High Heels
I wear my high heels & stiletto like a pro! Just like I wore heartbreak, hurt like hell but I’ll make it look beautiful :’)
19. What happens in Jakarta, stays in Bali!
I’m in Jakarta again now. Oh, it’s always fun, always my favorite playground. Guess what? Just guess!
20. What was with rain that makes the poor heart mourn and sad?
Empty coffee shop and rainy days. Near perfect.
21. Dogmama
Gareth rescue Max on November 2015, I am a loving dogmama, and he’s my four-legged godson. Nothing will change it. Without my blonde hair with me, in the next 10 years, I will cook for my man while I’m holding my own dog. Because probably, babies are really expensive Tamagotchis, sorry my words.
22. Just friends
Friends with benefits, no label relationship, friendzone, good luck with that. You can’t be “just friends” with someone you’re in love with.
23. Time to slow down, Big Girl!
Dyspepsia . Really? Twice in only three months difference, twelve nights in total with the same cause, same stress, and same medicines. I know, I know, what’s wrong with me? One day after I’m back from the hospital, I officially served my resignation letter. Details on “May the 4th be with you”
24. Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time
I don’t have to explain about I am not the same. I’m not craving for any relationship status, label or any kind of attachment that leads me to a meaningless relationship in the end. I didn’t trust love, but I did trust you, that time. You said you liked storms so I let you in. Turns out you can only handle a little rain and I am a hurricane. That quotes, enough said “now you understand, don’t even let the door open if you don’t want to let me in.” So, 27, blow me one last kiss, there’s always one more time, to trust love.
25. I see you watch her
“There is no point in trying to make a guy commit to an exclusive relationship if he still wants or needs to sow his wild oats.” Well said! And I didn’t expect any perfect apology about it. Close the page, let me go. “All alone I watch you watch her… Like she’s the only girl you’ve ever seen…”
26. Home
Gili Trawangan, beach, friendship, I called it home. I don’t refer home as a place since I grow older. I found that ‘home’ went from being a place to being a person. You were my home and you told me to move. But, still, home, home, where I wanted to go.
27. Dear heart
Phew! This is the longest duration ever in writing my blog. I’m turning 28 in few hours and I am so excited. So, dear heart, thanks for being so big and ambitious when it comes to love. I hope the rest of me catches up to you someday :’)
I didn't make any plan to celebrate my 27th birthday last year at the shooting range so I can start, at least, something different and powerful. If the year before you celebrate with someone who makes you the happiest lady in this universe, this time, Christie was with me. Means it’s always a very good celebration of getting older! And I can’t run to agree that life, is indeed, like a roller-coaster. I wish I could cry louder knowing a 3,5 months old baby of my BFF didn’t have the chance to feel the rhythm of life. And if life is seriously trying to be kind, they could just swap. The baby and Lars.
My favorite words from Michael Faudet last year, "She was a curious girl, a wanderer, who spent her summers chasing fluttering pieces of prose and eating strawberries."
And this is the puzzle in twenty-seven pieces:
1. For a healthy mind and body, talk to a psychologist
God, I’m adoring her! Thank you for saving my life, Mbak Angesty Putri. She’s one time asked me to write 100 things that I’m thankful about (I will share you later, I promise). I have a lot of favorite words from her but, I guess I need to remember again and again. “Inget,, not everyone deserves your energy… tolong inget itu.”
2. I was made for sunny days
I made do with grey, but I didn’t stay, I was made for sunny days and I was made for you. Hahaha, my Gili Islands routine. No shirt, no flip flop, no problem!
3. Ice cream
It’s never too cold for ice cream, nor for me, lol! Yep, I like eating ice cream. Ben & Jerry, they seem the only two men who really understand women, ya? Oh, and it’s never too cold to walk in the rain with me, by the way.
4. I love you like big fat pig
No, no. Not about loving pig after eating my favorite pork ribs in Ubud, Naughty Nuri’s. But dear food, I love you like a big fat pig! And I’m using the food to deal with anxiety and stress, too!
5. The Simpsons
I was once waking up in Lombok Island and watching The Simpsons after questioning myself “what the hell am I doing here?” But then, “I am the lizard queen! I want strawberries!” –Lisa Simpson
6. Papa turning 70
I’m 27 and he’s 70, but I’ll be his forever 3. And I miss being a kid, Pa. Scrap knees are easier to fix than a broken heart.
7. The fine print
There are a million things that are going through my brain when I’m reading books, letter, post card, notes, and the newspaper that hotel send to the room every morning. Classic ya? And ah-dorkable! Hahaha.
8. True friends
An acquaintance, mentor, online friend, friend, good friend, best friend and best friend forever, I have them all. They’re come and go, but after all, they’re the greatest blessings, warm the soul. And I don’t force them, if it’s not mutual, I’ll let them go.
9. Coffee & Croissant
America being behind France in upward mobility is a little bit like France being behind America in Croissants and Afternoon Sex. –Arianna Huffington.
Haha! My friend Gareth and I normally hang out every Sunday to Monsieur Spoon in Canggu when he’s still living there, with Max too. Max, the goof American Bully that I love the most, is enjoying the croissant very much!
10. So sick of love songs
Well, the tears are universal and yes, I have the same question about “theory of the song’s roiling emotions”. But if I have to choose one song, it will be Somewhere Only We Know by Keane:
“Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on...."
11. Kopi Pertama
Not a fan of Raditya Dika, but I always insert his “first coffee quotes” when I post something about my coffee. My favorite one is “Kopi pertama pagi ini. Luber. Seperti cinta yang datang di hati yang tidak terlalu lapang.”
12. Mobile phone habit
People spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking beer, tongue kissing, and dancing in the streets. Sad ya?
13. You cannot make everybody happy, you’re not a Nutella jar
Who’s not loving Nutella and not happy about that. And I am having a habit of putting someone else before me. Putting another person above me. I make them happy and I forgot to make myself also happy!
14. Noah Krockel
This is the year that his Dad, the Director of Operation of my two previous company moving to China. He’s a great boss that I can always work with, very cooperative. And Noah is always become a reason for me to have kids and into them. After Noah left, I want dogs more allowed in places, not children under 8 years. Yep, not into marriage, not into kids.
15. Elephants never forget
I’m walking away for anything saddens me. Someone who kill the elephant, gorilla, etc etc and post it on Facebook and other social media… don’t tell me about it! I could cry like a kid losing her dolls. And yep, just like an elephant, I have a good memory and I unlikely to forget something.
16. No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear
I did meeting Lars on Saturday night, I did!!! Silly I know, but he came over through the body of a Moslem Priest. I hold his hands and he touches my head gently, very gently. He didn’t say anything as it seems impossible as I have depression anyway. Be patience, let it all go. The saddest part was when the Priest told me he loves me sincerely. And again, tears running on my cheek. Vera and Allya struggling to hold me tight. “Jangan pergi.” I said. Just don’t.
17. Career
I quit my job. Sigh. Working with one of the big group hotel company and moving after I got my job promotion, (Legian and Seminyak), is the worst part ever. Ever. I’m not joking. But at least the General Manager extend his apology by saying “we are sorry to put you in a wrong working environment, wrong working atmosphere. If you still consider to work with our group, please let me know.” NAH! NAH! NAH! Never again. Haha. I’m walking away, I am good. Hong Kong – Singapore – Surabaya – Jakarta – around the world!
18. High Heels
I wear my high heels & stiletto like a pro! Just like I wore heartbreak, hurt like hell but I’ll make it look beautiful :’)
19. What happens in Jakarta, stays in Bali!
I’m in Jakarta again now. Oh, it’s always fun, always my favorite playground. Guess what? Just guess!
20. What was with rain that makes the poor heart mourn and sad?
Empty coffee shop and rainy days. Near perfect.
21. Dogmama
Gareth rescue Max on November 2015, I am a loving dogmama, and he’s my four-legged godson. Nothing will change it. Without my blonde hair with me, in the next 10 years, I will cook for my man while I’m holding my own dog. Because probably, babies are really expensive Tamagotchis, sorry my words.
22. Just friends
Friends with benefits, no label relationship, friendzone, good luck with that. You can’t be “just friends” with someone you’re in love with.
23. Time to slow down, Big Girl!
Dyspepsia . Really? Twice in only three months difference, twelve nights in total with the same cause, same stress, and same medicines. I know, I know, what’s wrong with me? One day after I’m back from the hospital, I officially served my resignation letter. Details on “May the 4th be with you”
24. Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time
I don’t have to explain about I am not the same. I’m not craving for any relationship status, label or any kind of attachment that leads me to a meaningless relationship in the end. I didn’t trust love, but I did trust you, that time. You said you liked storms so I let you in. Turns out you can only handle a little rain and I am a hurricane. That quotes, enough said “now you understand, don’t even let the door open if you don’t want to let me in.” So, 27, blow me one last kiss, there’s always one more time, to trust love.
25. I see you watch her
“There is no point in trying to make a guy commit to an exclusive relationship if he still wants or needs to sow his wild oats.” Well said! And I didn’t expect any perfect apology about it. Close the page, let me go. “All alone I watch you watch her… Like she’s the only girl you’ve ever seen…”
26. Home
Gili Trawangan, beach, friendship, I called it home. I don’t refer home as a place since I grow older. I found that ‘home’ went from being a place to being a person. You were my home and you told me to move. But, still, home, home, where I wanted to go.
27. Dear heart
Phew! This is the longest duration ever in writing my blog. I’m turning 28 in few hours and I am so excited. So, dear heart, thanks for being so big and ambitious when it comes to love. I hope the rest of me catches up to you someday :’)
Picture taken in Hong Kong. With you and 11 red roses.
P.S. I'm more than ready for the next chapter in my life.
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