As Lost As Alice

It's been three months since I'm away from the island. All I want is a city life, so I made it.
But in few hours, I have to go back to the island, I promise this time only for temporary before I'm back for good to Jakarta, or moving somewhere else with someone.

I'm pretty sure after "I keep standing between giving up and seeing how much more I can take", I'm still stuck between where am I to be, who am I, what I want to be, and who I should be.
I don't wanna be in Hong Kong looking at the window with my teary eyes and wandering,
I don't wanna be in Singapore because probably, I still don't know what to do,
I don't wanna be in Surabaya, simply because I don't like it,
I don't know whether I still wanna be in Bali after few times landed at the airport and struggling with the feeling of "I-am-not-home", or
I don't know whether it's a good time to go back to Jakarta, but I'm quite happy this time. 

Do you ever feel the same?
Unsure and lost, but then you can't avoid it, even after thousand times telling yourself that you'll be okay. Well, you know you'll be okay.

I'd like to stay with you, at the Kempinski balcony for a rainy day, but....

See? My mind is a wonderland, I can't read the maps!

And I've got no plans at all to leave :(