“I will burn a thousand villages to see my Dad,” Andy said, the husband of my twin soul, Dewi. His Dad also living in Heaven. Dewi and Lars are having only one day difference birthday. Not today, it was 18 June for Lars and 19 June for Dewi. I didn’t say anything; I choose another quiet day for myself after heavy raining in the morning. Went to the bakery shop, buy the cakes that I’m sure you like. Went to the flower shop, not a white one, it comes with color that day, because I celebrate Dewi’s birthday in silent, too. I went home, to the Catholic nuns and hold my tears when I’m holding Sr. Nena’s hands. She put the flower in the chapel and says I will pass the flowers for Holy Mary, Happy Birthday to Lars in heaven and to your friend, she said.
I went to the church, sitting next to you ( I know you were there), I tell God to send my message that I wish I don’t have to celebrate your birthday alone (again and again). I pray so that I can come back to where I belong, Bali, or Jakarta, or anywhere you think that would be good for me, Hong Kong, Ireland? We don’t know. I make a wish for Dewi, for her marriage journey with Andy, and for your friendship with her. I love you two, always.
Today, June 27, 2017, is 44 months since your passing. My heart still broke with my body still literally aches every time I know that I never see you again. The raindrop that landing on my cheek that morning, I know it’s a kiss from you, from Heaven. Happy Birthday, Lars Sayang. Selamat Ulang Tahun Mbak Dewi. You’re only 38 if you’re still here, Sayang. And you left when you’re only 34, it’s just so soon, too soon.
People still check on me, about you. I said you’re everywhere, in the ocean, the wind, the rain, in the air that I breathe too.
I went to the church, sitting next to you ( I know you were there), I tell God to send my message that I wish I don’t have to celebrate your birthday alone (again and again). I pray so that I can come back to where I belong, Bali, or Jakarta, or anywhere you think that would be good for me, Hong Kong, Ireland? We don’t know. I make a wish for Dewi, for her marriage journey with Andy, and for your friendship with her. I love you two, always.
Today, June 27, 2017, is 44 months since your passing. My heart still broke with my body still literally aches every time I know that I never see you again. The raindrop that landing on my cheek that morning, I know it’s a kiss from you, from Heaven. Happy Birthday, Lars Sayang. Selamat Ulang Tahun Mbak Dewi. You’re only 38 if you’re still here, Sayang. And you left when you’re only 34, it’s just so soon, too soon.
People still check on me, about you. I said you’re everywhere, in the ocean, the wind, the rain, in the air that I breathe too.
P.S. You know what.
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